Codependency has been the big word popping up for me, and some of my pals, lately. Speaking solely for myself, I mean who else can I speak for, but my fear of being alone for the rest of my life has consistently manifested itself in some not so nice behavioral patterns that could pretty well be labeled as codependent. Basically every time I let my ex get away with something that didn't serve me or put his needs before mine or thought of him as the strong one who I needed in order to be happy, healthy and wise, I was engaging in codependent behaviors and thought patterns. His desire to be the one to save me only reinforced this. So here we were trapped in a pattern where I needed him to feel loved, supported and worthy and he rose to the occasion. (I'm not blaming him FYI, my parents and friends have also supported my "poor wretched me" behaviors as well.) The point is, since codependency has been the word in my life for quite a while and since I've noticed its patterns and characteristics making themselves known when my girls talk about their relationships I've decided to do something about it. Namely, picking up Melody Beattie's book Codependent No More to get to the bottom of these thoughts and release these patterns before I do end up alone or worse, I have a daughter and pass these patterns on to her.
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