I watch an embarrassingly inordinate amount of television. Not only is my TV consumption off the charts but it is also composed of hours spent watching some of the worst stuff on TV. Don't believe me? Ancient Aliens is on in the background as I type. Be that as it is, I have learned a lot from my hours staring at the screen. For example, did you know aliens were responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs? Me either but Girogio Tsoukalos said so and it's on TV so must be a least plausible. While I do learn a few things here and there from the "educational" channels, most of my lessons from TV come from reality shows. Yes, those scripted reality based dramas filled with bad acting and women who are setting the feminist movement back decades. After years of zoning out to housewives, socialites and just girls off the street behaving badly, here are the lessons I've learned from reality tv.
1. "You ain't 'bout that life." Yes Evelyn, you are correct in assuming that I am not about a life that includes throwing wine bottles, demanding clique loyalty, hitting below the belt and chasing jocks. I haven't been 'bout that life since high school and that was 10 years ago this year for me.
2. Anyone can be famous if she's cute enough, lough enough, crass enough or has money and a sex tape backing her. I loved Simple Life but I blame Paris and Nicole for this. *Sidenote: Where are Paris and Nicole now? Paris is laying low living off of Hilton money and Nicole is a mom, wife and fashion designer. In other words they were a mess at 23 and now at 31 they've *gasp* grown up.
3. Gucci, Gucci, Louis, Louis, Fendi, Fendi, Prada...
4. The worse you behave the more likely it is that you will get a spinoff, book deal or at least get invited to a late night talk show or something.
5. Women are suffering from an extreme case of low self esteem, or better yet a lack of self love. From Kim Kardashian to Joselyn on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and everyone in between, the ladies of reality TV are in serious need of a hug. Only someone who doesn't love who they are would go on TV and degrade themselves for a dollar. Whether they are looking for love and approval from a man who is cheating on them or at the bottom of a bottle or better yet from the American public, these girls need to look for love and approval in the one place that it lives...themselves.
*Climbs down from soapbox and turns on TV.
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