A month ago over a glass of wine, or two, apres Breaking Dawn I explained to one of my spiritual running mates that I was being moved from my j-o-b in retail because not only was I done with working like a slave pushing clothes but I felt my purpose was coming to an end. The next day I walked into a store meeting to find out, BOY WAS I RIGHT! My time as a supervisor at a not quite designer store was coming to an end sooner than I thought because as of December 27, 2012 the store would be out of business and we would all be jobless. Instead of freaking out that my secure meal ticket was being revoked and that due to the economic r******** I would never find a job, I took a deep breath, took it in stride and moved on. What could I do? Nothing really, and since retail was never really a career move for me why would I dream of sweating losing a job I didn't want?
I've mentioned it before, but I fell into retail post grad after not finding the job of my dreams or any job that didn't involve pyramid marketing schemes when I moved to Atlanta in 2007. Most of it was my fault, my limiting beliefs that I couldn't find a job due to the economy, that I wasn't qualified to get the job I dreamed of and that Atlanta only had limited opportunities kept me from grabbing my job by the balls. I also had this unending trust in my degree, exhibited by most recent grads--Newsflash your degree is not you and does not guarantee anything other than student loan payments. This misplaced trust coupled with the tiny mad ideas keeping me from applying and fully applying myself led me to apply for a part time gig at French Connection that pretty much put me exactly where I needed to be to learn lessons in humility, budgeting, valuing money and what I really am capable of, for the next 5 years.
Fast forward to now. While I'm 5 years closer to my dream job than I was in 2007, I still feel a little behind the power curve. Or felt rather. Yes I have stylist credits to my name and have contributed to a boat load of blogs on the internets and I've started laying the ground work for me to be taken seriously as a writer and style expert, but had I known then what I know now, I'd have my j-o-b. But that's the point. My journey is mine not anyone else's and toiling in the belly of retail for holiday after holiday while honing my craft as a writer has given me invaluable experiences in life. That experience has everything to do with the next job on the horizon, I have no idea when, where, or how it's coming I just know it's coming, and nothing to do with the job I wanted the second I accepted my diploma that I have since lost. (Side note: If you lose your degree does that mean you didn't get one? I mean that would suck if I had to do school all over again because I ost my degree.)
Five years ago I was scared shitless but excited about not knowing exactly how or where I would end up. I thought that by now I'd be married with a kid on the way and my name on the masthead of my favorite glossy. Now, I'm bursting at the seams with excitement over finally being free of the cash wrap and I have no plan on going back to retail ever again. Not that retail sucks or anything, I mean how else could I afford my wardrobe without a discount--I'm just closer to 30 than I am 23 and right about now its time for this little princess to come into her own as a grown up and retail doesn't have a thing to do with it. I fully accept that I had to work where and how I did for the past few years in order to get to a pont where I could finally value myself as a woman first and a writer second. What's my next move? I have no earthly idea but I know it's going to be effing awesome!
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